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Writing About (Mostly) Not Astrophysics


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Cosmic Comic Warp Wrapup

Edited from a Crosspost to Adventures in Poor Taste

The AiPT crew asked if I could explain the weird physics in Fantastic Four #10, where an alien spaceship seems to struggle with its spacetime warping engines. I may not be a Fantastic Four expert, but I know the basics. All classic groups are foursomes, and the FF are no different. Ninja Turtles, A-Team, Beatles, Sex and the City, the four fundamental forces of nature, etc. The quadriad heroes tend to compliment each others’ skills, getting into lots of situations that are aided by a combination of invisible lady, stretchy guy, strong big guy, and fiery guy. Is one such situation a spacetime anomaly? We’re about to find out.

Ryan North and Leandro Fernández’s Fantastic Four #10 features a story told in five 100 year chunks, as the caretakers of an alien starship full of passengers in suspended animation ponder their vessel’s frozen state. The ship awakens them one by one to maintain the engines, but instead, they find that the starship is motionless in space. What’s more, they individually observe the Fantastic Four members (though they have no idea that’s what they are) moving within and outside the ship in extremely slow motion.

Someone familiar with special relativity might suspect this involves relativistic time dilation: the phenomena whereby something traveling near the speed of light experiences the passage of time more slowly than objects at rest. In fact, the ship is genuinely motionless. Or more specifically, frozen in a warped region of spacetime.

Fantastic Four #10–now with 50% more spacetime manifolds!

Of course–that explains the strange readings! This space-time manifold is artificial!

In its present configuration, it’s a collapsed isolated invariant hyperbola, true, but under the right circumstances…such a field could be propulsive.

Exactly. And while I’m gratified these belts I jury-rigged are keeping us outside this collapsed area of space-time, I can’t predict how anyone within it will perceive us. Strange things happen when you mix disparate time frames.

Fascinating. Their instantaneous appearance implies time is moving much faster for them than it is for us.

So to anyone on board, we look like–what, statues?

Given the temporal frame conflict, it’s likely we’re appearing at multiple and disparate times, locations and relative speeds. It would be quite challenging to predict.

It is interesting that the crew of a ship that operates through warping spacetime would be unfamiliar with the notion of different relativistic frames of reference. (It is implied that the shipbuilders were “ancient.” I guess their wisdom didn’t extend to the notion that they should make sure to pass down the basics of spaceflight.)

The description in the issue implies that the ship is designed to move by warping spacetime itself, without specifying how exactly. If that sounds like utter and complete gobbledegook, it may surprise you to learn that physicists merely consider it far-fetched-but-remotely-plausible gobbledegook. General relativity theorists have proposed spacetime geometries that would allow objects to circumvent light speed — the universe’s speed limit.

The best known of these is the Alcubierre drive, a hypothetical geometry first proposed in 1994 by Miguel Alcubierre, whereby space is contracted in front of an object, and expanded behind it. Superluminal travel is accomplished by moving space around the ship, which remains below light speed itself.

Easy enough, right? Wrong.

While dense matter or energy can contract spacetime, like a heavy object creating an indentation on a trampoline, there’s no known substance which can produce the opposite effect. Without a means of expanding space, like a source of negative energy, creating the spacetime geometry of a “warp bubble” is impossible.

Even if there were such a means, the amount of energy needed to distort space this way is implausibly enormous. Various proposals to operate an Alcubierre warp drive more efficiently have focused on methods that would reduce the amount of energy needed from that of the entire observable universe, to only that of several solar masses, or half a planet the size of Jupiter.

Other complications involve the fact that the warp bubble would violate relativistic causality – arriving at its destination before it would have seemed to have left. Light from the ship at its point of departure could reach the ship at its eventual end point, making it appear to exist in two places at once. The universe tends to have a problem with that sort of thing, as it implies a form of backwards time travel has occurred. Stephen Hawking’s chronology protection conjecture theorized that unspecified (maybe quantum) effects would intervene to prohibit the creation of time paradoxes. How or whether this would actually work, though, remains an open question.

Now if only we could get off this weird grid thing

Even if an Acubierre warp drive could work, it’s been calculated that a build-up of energetic particles caught up in the warp bubble over the trip would be released as the ship decelerated from superluminal velocity, and if a planet or object were along that direction of motion, this burst could destroy the destination itself.

Normally, an utter inability to accomplish something tends to dissuade people’s interest in it, but warp drive is a pretty tantalizing idea. As a result, nearly every article a theorist publishes relating to these models gets written up by pop-science sites. A sample of recent headlines include:

A warp drive is theoretically possible without breaking known physics

Alien ‘warp drives’ may leave telltale signals in the fabric of space-time, new paper claims

Warp Drives Might Be Real, and We’ll Find Them With Lasers: Study

Scientists Just Made a Breakthrough For Interstellar Travel

Faster-than-light ‘warp speed’ interstellar travel now thought to be possible

Scientists Get Serious in the Search for a Working Warp Drive

First-of-its-kind model makes warp drives feasible for space travel

Government-Funded Study Explores Warp Drives as Means of Faster-Than-Light Communication through “Hyperwaves”

If Warp Drives are Impossible, Maybe Faster Than Light Communication is Still on the Table?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but very little to increase the likelihood of warp travel within our lifetimes has actually transpired here. Rather, clickbait science sites are seizing on fairly hypothetical and insubstantial developments (like journal articles touching on minor refinements of theoretical work). Until humanity starts making big strides in folding spacetime around itself, we won’t be seeing anything like warp travel.

And it’s a shame! The universe is huge, and it would be exciting to be able to see more of it at close range. But without discovering some new physics, missions of interstellar exploration will require decades, if not centuries. We still have a lot to learn about gravity, so maybe 500 years stuck in one place would do it.


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Avatar: The Way of Sascha

Screengrab from It's Always Sunny of Dennis saying "It's about the thrill of wearing another man's skin."

Pictured: Me

Back in 2010 I was out at a bar with some friends of my then-girlfriend when a couple young women cautiously approached me. They asked “Excuse me, are you Sascha?” and without hesitation I somehow had the wherewithal to answer “Yes, I am!” They then pulled me aside to compliment me on the talk I had given at RISD earlier that day, and we had a 7-10 minute conversation on “my work” which I gradually ascertained was some kind of social art collective in New York City, where I, apparently, lived.

I don’t know whether they eventually got suspicious that I was who they had assumed, but if so, they never let on. And I remain proud to this day of my quick-witted choice to lie to these unsuspecting strangers. (As it turns out, I looked pretty similar to this guy, but I’m still surprised that they saw and heard both of us in person on the same day and decided we matched.)

In the same spirit, I enjoy being catfished as much as the next guy, so when an unknown Whatsapp user starts texting me out of the blue, in Spanish, fun can only be right around the corner.

It is hard to know what this person was trying to get out of me, but I appreciated her desire to avoid believability. She was from LA, but currently living in Iraq, with her “only daughter.” What was she doing there? She was “posted” there. With whom? With all these random pictures of people in body armor. The army lets you bring your kids now? Yes, if they are very small.

I used Google Translate because I don’t speak Spanish, but that wasn’t much help when she dropped an Indonesian sentence in there and then seemed to understand my response, in Indonesian. Here is the excerpt:

Jenny: I’m Jenny good morning from here
Sorry I misspelled a number when trying to text a friend and your number came up
Sorry if I bother you, can I know your name please?

Ryan: I’m Ryan. Good evening.

Jenny: WOW, it’s morning here now 04:47
Where do you live?
I am from Los Angeles but am currently in Iraq.

[This was one-hour later than the current time in Iraq]

Ryan: Iraq? What are you doing there? i’m in Boston.

Jenny: i’m posted here
I work here and live with my only daughter.

Ryan: Posted in what?

Jenny:

(Would you believe it if I told you reverse image-searching these turn up generic “girls with ammo” pictures on gun-fetish pintrest?)

that’s it
so nothing much
I was here for the other government. We have been in the second troop for 8 months.
Can I know the time there now?

[I quickly double-check whether there are still American troops in Iraq because I’m honestly not sure. ]

Ryan: It’s like 8 o’clock. I’m surprised the army would let you take your daughter with you.

Jenny: yes because she is very small
Aku tidak bisa tinggal jauh darinya (Indonesian: “I can’t stay away from him”)
that’s Lillian that’s her name

Ryan: Tunggu, apakah kita berbicara bahasa Indonesia sekarang? (Indonesian: “Wait, are we speaking Indonesian now?”)

Jenny: (back to Spanish)

No, I wrote to my friend here to find her a child, so I didn’t change it.
Sorry, he was the wrong guy.
Who lives with you?

[At this point my wife, who has been following along with this saga solemnly places her hand on my shoulder and beseeches that I don’t fall in love]

Ryan: You won’t believe when I tell you: I live in a lighthouse

Jenny: wow, it’s nothing, I mean, do you live with your family?
I am a simple girl ok not rich
I live with my daughter alone, who do you live with?

Ryan: The sea is my family. The waves, my lovers. Whales and starfish, my cousins.

Jenny: oh that’s amazing
Are you married or single?
I’m separated I only have one daughter
I turn 25 next month

Ryan: I have no one to call my own, just the lonely expanse of the sea. The heartless void of the abyss.

Jenny: how old are you now my good friend
Don’t you feel lonely sometimes?
Do you want to be single forever?
I am looking for a decent man you are handsome but I don’t know your attitude
What is your occupation do you work?
Ryan… Really great
I am Jenny
Take care I have to rest a bit so I can arrive early for my duty

Once she’d started glitching, the magic kind of went out of it. And I was already married to the sea. Still, what a deep backstory! Just a simple girl not rich trying to make her way in this world. The last American soldier stationed in Iraq, with her small daughter.


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Brilliant Entry May Have Been Deemed “Too Thought-provoking” For Boston-Area Photography Contest

Newton, Massachusetts. March 26th, 6:06 PM

Back in May there were sandwich boards around town soliciting pictures for a photography exhibit about the initial months of the pandemic. Being the sensitive and artistic soul that I know myself to be, I thought “I’ve got just the picture!” and scrolled back through my camera roll to the grey early days of our now-perpetual state. Back when people were still leaving their mail untouched for a day, when we’d only just begun to mentally size up the airflow in every new interior space upon entering. The days before fear gave way to sadness, and we weren’t yet numb to the multi-faceted tragedy of what we’re still watching unfold.

My submission didn’t make it in. It probably got edged out by a photo of a cat watching Tiger King or something. No problem, I’ve got this blog I can put it on instead. Basically what you’re looking at here is a picture I took one day while out with my wife on one of those walks we all have to take now so we don’t go crazy. The Mass Pike runs through the area and I’d been fixated on how the ever-present crush of Boston traffic had dwindled to nothing seemingly overnight. I can see part of the pike out of the corner of my eye from my desk at home so I’d been tracking it unintentionally as society went into lockdown.

This was two weeks into isolation for us. On the 12th as cancellations and scary news alerts were steadily pinging away, I took a day off work to rush down to RI to stock my mother with groceries and convince her to stay put for a while. I never returned to the office—we went remote the next day. A couple days later my wife’s did too. I was proud of how a patchwork of local authorities and employers here had taken these extreme steps to help slow or prevent the elderly and vulnerable from dying—a shared decision made by ordinary people in the almost total absence of national leadership.

When we came up on this highway bridge it really was shocking to see the highway this deserted. But I knew that that doesn’t necessarily come across in a still image, so I had to try to take a few and make them a bit arty while still showing the maximum possible extent of the road without cars on it. I liked this one the best, but it’s funny that I thought I could make a photo featuring the weird grocery store perched over the pike “arty.”

The contest required a description under 100 words, thus quashing my desire to write an extended reverie on the idea that under normal circumstances, at the time and date I took this, the Red Sox would have been playing their opening game. The road would have been filled with cars holding people listening to it on their radios. How poetic!

Here’s what I wrote instead:

I live close enough to the pike to hear it whooshing through a quiet night. It crowds with crawling cars twice a day and only ever subsides to a steady thrum.
As ordinary life shut down for many of us, and my world shrank to the blocks around my apartment, I couldn’t help but gawk at the abrupt lack of traffic; an eerie absence that substantiated the magnitude of the crisis. Yet, far from being ominous, the quiet road was evidence of our enormous collective effort to save each other’s lives.
I took this picture on a Thursday evening in late March, at what would have been the height of rush hour.


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Paul & Babe & Us

It’s the holiday season, so Merry Christmas, Chappy Chanukkah, Happy New Year, and so on!

People are pretty down on 2016, with good reason. Personally though, it was a pretty good year for me, and hopefully for many others. I got married (was my co-blogger a groomsman? of course he was!), and many people I care for got engaged, married, had children, and/or any other variety of personal milestones–which is great!

Among the fun things was visiting my wife’s home of Minnesota (a state you are only allowed to enter following marriage to a current or former resident). I wrote about visiting Prince already but when we were up in the northern part of that state we got a photo op with a local hero (inspired by my new brother-in-law & his fiance), and it is one of my favorite photos. I only wish that I had known to wear blue pants! So I’m going to post it as a way of bragging that I had a pretty good 2016.

PaulBabeMichneys

Happy 2017!


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In Which I Pretend to be a Theater Critic

Providence actors Derek Smith and Victoria Ezikovich explore space hallucinations in The Final Voyage of X Minus One. Photo by Bert Silverberg.

Providence actors Derek Smith and Victoria Ezikovich explore space hallucinations in The Final Voyage of X Minus One. Photo by Bert Silverberg.

My wife* has a pretty cool gig writing theater reviews for the website Broadway World. For doing this, she gets all sorts of free tickets to various productions around town and yours truly comes along to a good fraction of the performances. She’s gotten pretty good at it, and recently even joined the American Theater Critics Association and got to travel to New York to participate in their yearly event where she moderated a lunch talk with Susan from Friends, her new best friend!

Last weekend we went to The Final Voyage of X Minus One by Counter-Productions Theatre Company at AS220 in Providence and my lovely wife asked me to pinch-hit on the review, since the show was a sci-fi anthology and I’m a huge dork. It was easy to write since the play was really excellent and fun. It’s not a new Aitchbar post, per se, but it’s a thing I wrote on the internet, so check it out! (And if you’re in the area, go see it!)

BWW Review: THE FINAL VOYAGE OF X MINUS ONE at Counter-Productions Theatre Company

(*): Oh, by the way, since I last posted here, I got married. Hooray!


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David Tennant’s Doctor Who, Adrift in Time?

Well, I found the 10th Doctor, adrift in history—specifically the history of whaling in Nantucket.

George Myrick Tennant

George Myrick Tennant

The familiar visage supposedly belongs to a “George Myrick Jr.,” ship owner and merchant, found while wandering the Nantucket Whaling Museum. A better image of the portrait and some of the cover story the good doctor made up to live as a whaling entrepreneur in the 19th century is here. Still looking for evidence of a sonic harpoon.

See also: “Doctor Who Theme for Ukulele


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Les Automatóns

Bonjour Y'All

Bonjour Y’All!

Me: I just had a dream that I was in a production of Les Mis and the major action of the plot revolved around several of the major characters secretly being robots. For instance, that “I dreamed a dream of time gone by” song was about a robot who was hundreds of years old pining for the life he used to have 300 years ago in England.

Girlfriend: Have you ever seen Les Mis?

Me: No, and now I’m afraid I’m going to be disappointed.

Girlfriend: So the other characters were dressed as robots?

Me: No, I think they were actually being played by robots.

Girlfriend: This is the most magical conversation we’ve ever had.

Me: It might be the most magical dream I’ve ever had.


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Physics Art Show Submission “Domeflat: SUPA00398520”

For the past few years my department has hosted an annual art show to showcase the various scientific and extrascientific artistic endeavors of students and faculty. This year I submitted a stitched-together domeflat from the dataset I’m working with—an image taken of an evenly lit telescope dome interior to better understand the imperfections of the telescope CCD. Since astronomy has a hard-earned reputation as the prettiest of the physics disciplines I thought it would really bring the hammer of day-to-day  tedium down on people’s expectations. Take THAT for assuming I’d give you something that looked good just because this is an art show! Here is the image and description I submitted:

Domeflat

“Domeflat: SUPA00398520”

This image, taken of the inside of the Subaru Telescope dome on Mauna Koa Hawaii poses the question: what is the nature of perception? Used to calibrate the properties of the telescope’s CCD cameras, the observers image a pure white field— thus, the emergent imperfections challenge the viewer to confront the fractured ways in which they view the world. Moreover, although the gaps in between CCDs create the appearance of windowpanes, the context is of a confined indoor space—a claustrophobic response to the telescope’s true potential and a visceral reminder of the futility of science to observe the substance of the soul.

The inability of the camera to detect the edges of its frame demonstrates the inner hollowness of incomplete perspective.  Are the didactic shackles of technology forcing a naturally circular field of view to be confined to a formalist rectangle? Or are we seeing a hi-fidelity instrument in a lo-fi world? What began as a white field, now viewed in ashen shades, confounds the arrêt d’annulation of the reality versus art paradigm.